Tuxedo Question - Rent or Buy?

My best bud is getting married and was asking me about tuxes. I often times relish giving him my twisted opinion on various matters. Last time he asked me how to make an omelet. I can't wait for the next opportunity to dole out my sage advice.

--- *a* *o** <**o*g@b***.blackberry.net> wrote:
> 1) Do u think I should buy or rent a tux? Why or
> why not?
>
> 2) If I do buy a tux, I will most likely buy a
> 3-button. Do u think it would look weird with u
> guys wearing a 1-button and me wearing a 3-button?
> or do u think it doesn't matter?
>

1a) a tux is a lifetime investment.
1b) a tux makes a chimp look good.

2) I'm hedging that 3 button suits are going the way of the skinny tie and therefore I purchased a 1 button. Most people look at the adornments anyway and not the jacket or the thickness of the strip running down the leg. Wear a sharp looking vest, bow tie and a nice white shirt and no one will notice that you don't have pants on.

2b) Just kidding about hedging - mine was on sale.

Simon.

Celebrity Poker...

I was on the set of Celebrity Poker Showdown during my last trip to Vegas. It was the slowest f*cking game I had ever seen. I almost gave up poker completely because it was sooo slow. They lured us in for free drinks and a chance to meet some Celebs.

Here was the line up:

- Allison Sweeney Sammy from "Days of our lives"
- Wendy Pepper - the bitch from "Project Runway"
- Camryn Manhiem - the ex-Practice lawyer
- Two other Celebs that I don't recognize because I don't watch enough tv.

We sat there for an hour and watched 3 hands of poker. The real bonus was watching Dave Foley - (Kid's in the Hall). Here's a link to Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dave Foley But Were Afraid to Ask.

He was piss drunk for the entire taping! That mug that he sips from is NOT coffee. We had to do take after take of him saying the same thing. The first take was a joke that fell apart. The 4th and final take was him saying "Live at the Palms, we'll be right back".

Phil Gordon, the pro poker player in the Tux basically had to laugh at Dave's jokes and antics. But the best part was when we muttered under his breath "I hate my life" on a repeated take over. Phil, we didn't last 60 minutes in there - I think you should get as loaded as Foley.

I didn't even care who won.

Other celebrity sightings at the Palms:
-Dean Cain,
-The guy who plays Tony Almeida from 24,
-and Andy Richter (ok well my friend saw him)

All these celebs in one weekend - but it still doesn't beat the time I saw Keanu Reeves at Crazy Horse II with a bunch of rippers.

My Trusty Stapler

My Swingline

Here's a tip for you all - borrow a label gun and put your name on it. That way you have a darn good response when they say "Well, I don't see your name on it".

This Swingline stapler (insert Office Space joke here) has been with me for 4 years since I joined Televigation. The stapler and I were employee number 20. It has survived the dot-com boom and bust including multiple rounds of layoffs. It has also survived the 45 degree or parallel to the top edge fad. A few times it was threatened to be replaced by the electric model with silicon chips and such. It even outlived 2photocopiers with built-in staplers.

It has come a long way since the early days of stapling receipts to expense reports. It is now tasked with stapling NDA's, contracts, budget requisition forms and even corporate strategy documents.

To reward's its loyalty to me, I promise never to try to over staple more than it can handle. I promise to ensure that it has a constant supply of high quality staples. Last, I promise never to slam on its head in frustration.

Our friendship will last as long as the glue that hold the label to its side (insert Seinfeld joke here). I look forward to the next few years to see where our adventures will go. At least my little stapler is not like my whoring pair of scissors that finds any person that will take it.
You Bitch.

Vegas for a Bachelor party.

So I'm heading to vegas this weekend for my best friend (Mr DCF's) Bachelor party. It is actually my first one that I have to sort of plan. Thank goodness for Mr. Ben Kim's hookups for comps at The Palms (don't ask about how much you need to drop to get this status). Mr. Kim loves to hear the craps table staff yell "TABLE MAXIMUM". You too can hear that for a mere $3000. Naturally, they give the dice to Ben to roll (Sometimes he will even let the shooter controls wheter he is +/-3 Gs). I throw in my support by putting a black chip on the passline behind his 30 $100 bills. He throws.... phew, he doesn't crap out. Marker on the Six. Now he needs to roll a 6 before he throws a 7 to win. Damn lucky SOB throws a six and wins. I win $100 and Ben gets his payout. Not bad for a few throws of the die.

The rest of the weekend will packed with adrenaline filled moments that would even make a lung cancer patient light up a smoke. It's going to be fun. We'll try to go see the city this time too heheh. We've got steak dinners and a UFC fight lined up and the usaul vegas nitelife before we hit the tables again until sunrise and sleep until sunset.

Our Palms hostess Mrs. Wan-Mei-Borgata (a little old wrinkly asian Mama-san) will be the one clearing our comps as we try to eat/sleep and get chauffeured around. She apparently remembers me from 2 years ago which was the last time we were there. It's kind of scary knowing that this lady MIGHT turnaround and say, hey boys, remember how I told you everything was comped? - well you didn't gamble your average this time and I'm going to have to ask you to pay for this. Usually, by the end of our vegas trips we would have lost all of our money so we will see who has to draw straws to sleep with her to pay off our tab. Because this will be for my best buddy Dan bachelor party, we will "remove" his straw leaving me only a 50/50 chance of drawing the short straw. At least those are better than any house odds given at the tables.

Viva Las Vegas.