My Trusty Stapler

My Swingline

Here's a tip for you all - borrow a label gun and put your name on it. That way you have a darn good response when they say "Well, I don't see your name on it".

This Swingline stapler (insert Office Space joke here) has been with me for 4 years since I joined Televigation. The stapler and I were employee number 20. It has survived the dot-com boom and bust including multiple rounds of layoffs. It has also survived the 45 degree or parallel to the top edge fad. A few times it was threatened to be replaced by the electric model with silicon chips and such. It even outlived 2photocopiers with built-in staplers.

It has come a long way since the early days of stapling receipts to expense reports. It is now tasked with stapling NDA's, contracts, budget requisition forms and even corporate strategy documents.

To reward's its loyalty to me, I promise never to try to over staple more than it can handle. I promise to ensure that it has a constant supply of high quality staples. Last, I promise never to slam on its head in frustration.

Our friendship will last as long as the glue that hold the label to its side (insert Seinfeld joke here). I look forward to the next few years to see where our adventures will go. At least my little stapler is not like my whoring pair of scissors that finds any person that will take it.
You Bitch.